No HOMO: A look into our prejudices


No Homo: A look into our prejudices

A few years back, Kanye West said, “the opposite of Hip-Hop is gay!” Take our extremely homophobic society coupled with the fact that being a black man and gay is the ultimate taboo, some thought Mr. West was committing career suicide. Well, I’m not saying the opposite of Hip-Hop is gay, I do think however that the issue of homosexuality is a topic that makes many men like myself uncomfortable.

I typically write about issues facing people of color, politics, and music; so where does this no homo topic come in. Is this not an issue facing people of color, is homosexuality not discussed in music, and we all know how it is woven into the fabric of political debates? While blogging and trying to find out more information on how to drive traffic to my blog, I was surfing through necole bitchie’s blog ( She had a feature that was dealing with this gentleman I had never heard of and some concreteloop website fiasco between the two. So I scrolled through her feature; dealing with how this blogger B. Scott and ConcreteLoop were having issues over people discriminating that ConcreteLoop had enlisted a homosexual as one of their weekly contributors.

Now at this point I don’t know who this man is, and I was actually about to click out of this post because it didn’t affect me personally. Before I left, I clicked the youtube link and low and behold I found out what all the drama had been about. To say I was caught off guard is an understatement; here was this openly gay man looking more like a woman than a lot of women. For me to sugar coat my feelings on what I saw would do this piece no justice, so I give to you my bare honesty. I’m sure I put forth expletives that would not be a delight to the young man’s ears. However, as I thought back to my spirituality, I remembered that I am no better than him and I had no right to judge. So I listened to his message and the content blew me away!

He was reaching out to a young man who had emailed him; and was contemplating suicide because of the ridicule he was receiving from his family and peers because he was gay. A young teenage black man was thinking about killing himself; gay or not, this young man has a world of opportunities to live for and call it naive of me but I was shocked to hear that such ridicule would drive someone so far. So I commend B. Scott for serving as a voice for these young men, inspiring them to be themselves and not allow OUR ridicule of their lifestyle to drive them to an early grave.

But deeper than that, what did this say about me? When talking with some friends about the idea of even posting the video to bring light to this issue facing our communities, it was constantly brought to my attention “Cedric, if you do this people are going to start to wonder about you”. If you didn’t know, the best way to assassinate a straight black man’s character is to call him gay. However, being gay is the new black, please get riled up because I just said that but think about the statement objectively before you lash out. A professor told me once that the plight of homosexuals is very similar to that of the history of blacks here in this country. People use the bible to validate their negative beliefs that these individuals are inferior and have relegated gays to the social outcasts that blacks once were.

I told my best friend what the teacher told me some years ago, he looked at me like I had lost my mind and said that college was getting to me. Was it really that far fetched; just take a look at our country’s constitution? When it was written blacks were not a protected class of people. Right now in 2008 homosexuals are not a protected class of people in the land of the free. I have become no better than the white person who is called a racist and says, “but my best friend is black”. When people say Ced you’re homophobic I say, “nah, I’m not, my cousin is gay”. While I am not homophobic, I recognize that I do have some prejudices towards the gay lifestyle and as someone who has been discriminated against this is unacceptable. I am human though and I admit these flaws, the closer I get to God the more I learn that I have no right to judge anyone and by me judging someone I am opening myself up to have my imperfect life judged.

Barack Obama said that he will look to take away the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in the military. I think people like myself have a policy with homosexuals more like “don’t show, don’t care”! I am not one who says, “gays shouldn’t be married, gays shouldn’t be allowed to raise children”. That’s absurd; some of the most competent and intelligent people in this world are gay, so I don’t feel their rights should be limited. However, this don’t show, don’t care policy comes out when we say “oh its ok to be gay but don’t do it around me”. My lifestyle might make some people uncomfortable; they have no right to tell me when and where I can express myself; I’m a grown man unless of course my mom has something to say lol. I say all this to say, watch the young man’s video with an open mind. I wrote this piece in hopes that we can start to have a dialogue in our communities and via the Internet about our prejudices and look to actively tear some of these walls down. If young men are killing themselves because of our ridicule of their lifestyle and we are all right with that, than I think there might not be as much wrong with them as there actually is with us. To minimize the life of another simply because of his/her sexual preference is bigoted hatred at its worst. NO HOMO!


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20 Responses to “No HOMO: A look into our prejudices”

  1. Osay Says:

    Wow! Another strong piece Sandz & another long comment from me. LOL

    I think most would agree homosexuality is a topic that has always been taboo in society, but more severely in African-American society. Not only do we not like to talk about or even address that it exists, but it’s even causing divisions in the root of our community-our existence some would say….

    I attend Trinity United Church of Christ (yes, Obama’s church), and I respect Rev. Wright because of his all-inclusive ministry, which most dislike him for. While it’s made clearly that homosexuality is not supported or endorsed, he has addressed the fact that SOMEONE needs to minister to this demographic that so many (including churches) have shunned. Are they not still children of God? Do they not have as much right to salvation as heterosexuals? While its clear that homosexuality is not endorsed, there is still an open-door policy for them and there is even a ministry/support group for them. While I know people who love our pastor and his work, but refuse to attend the church because of it’s stance on homosexuals. Insanity.

    Now couple that with the fact that our un-acceptance of homosexuals has contributed to this whole “down-low” epidemic. Because we don’t allow people to feel comfortable expressing who they are, they lie and try to fit themselves into what WE have determined is an acceptable lifestyle, which is leading to an increase in the percentage of black women infected with the AIDS virus. So our ridicule is killing us….literally.

    And I won’t even touch the topic of the double-standard on homosexual males vs. females……

    Again, I personally have no problems with homosexuals since their lifestyle has no direct effect on my life. I agree that most fall into the “holier than thou” complex. We spend so much time judging others we forget to look inward. No one’s perfect. I don’t know about others, but I have too much I need to work on in my life to be worried about how someone else chooses to live theirs. Let he who has not sinned…….

    (7)So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. (8)And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. (9)And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
    John 8: 7-9

  2. Food4Thought Says:

    I can dig aspects of this. It is in fact 2008 and issues around homosexuality continue to plague our community when focus need be on how to prevent this qualified black man from being ripped off from his chance at becoming president; we all know voting alone will NOT be enough. How much thought will be given to that? The title of this story reminds of a situation that I encountered in a school. This student, young, black, and on the verge of being expelled was linked to a teacher with the goal of providing some mentoring hoping to keep him in the school. 9 months later, one random day after congratulating the boy on improving his act, he passed and stated “Mr. Smith, I love you; no homo!” The interesting aspect of his statement requires analysis. Here, in 6th grade, children are plagued by the thought of what would happen if and when you tell another man you love him. This pattern is reflective among all age groups. As a member of the educated class, this saddens me. It speaks not only of where our community is headed but also of just how naïve we as a people are. I once told a straight man with too many questions “don’t make your issue, my issue.” He wasn’t reflective enough to think about the times he’s been stopped by a cop randomly, followed in a store, or called a nigger to his face which is rare for most people who were raised in the north and have been fooled by the illusion of inclusion. These events are analogies to the discrimination in my experience with my representing gay black men be they over the top like B. Scott or deep under the raider like the many names that will remain undisclosed . To throw them under the bus or to the waist side would be as fucked up as missy Anne when she pretended not to know Kizzy in the documentary “Roots.” The concept of don’t care; don’t show is similar all too reminiscent of the boss who ask Huey or Angela to straighten the afro when they walk in the office; all the while saying I don’t care that your starting a revolution, just don’t show it around me. You’re right, it is indeed time to talk, to get things out, to straighten some lines. That however will take a significant degree of confidence in straight America and having been thrown under the bus relentlessly I can tell you to tell your people that my people are not interested in acquiring any additional tire marks on their backs. This article shows progress. Straight black and gay black America needs to take the same approach: connect, develop a worthy relationship, identify each others strengths and use faith in those relationships to obtain progress! Sounds ideal right? The old hymnal said “we’ve come this far by faith!” See you on the journey!

  3. anonymous Says:

    I struggle with this all the time. My ex was very pro gay rights and she would constantly compare the gay rights movement with the civil rights movement and I would get offended and we would go at it. But she, like this dude, is right. While they are not the same thing they do parallel each other. I personally do not have any gay friends and the thought of two men OR WOMEN in a same sex relationship confuses me. I have a “don’t show, don’t care” attitude about it but is that wrong? As a black man I don’t think it is right to oppress anyone, but should I care more?

  4. anonymous Says:

    As a Black man, I don’t want to see anyone oppressed. And truthfully, I feel sorry for anyone walking around ashamed to be who they are or think they are. BUT…I don’t wanna see it. I’m definitely in the “don’t show, don’t care” category. I don’t care what gays do…just don’t do it in front of me. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Seeing two dudes making out in the mall doesn’t make me see their side….it disgusts the shit out me. Just my 2 pennies.

  5. anonymous Says:

    Being gay is a choice for many. it is like whether or not to cheat on your wife. Believe it or not there are things in life you have to try not to do. Temptation is there for everyone. Most “gay” people are really bi-sexual and find they are more gay than they thought once they experiment a little. Other gay people are kids who were molested by gay men when they were younger and got a screwed up psyche when it comes to their sexual preference because of the mental trauma it caused. Then there are others who actually are gay. They could not be aroused by a woman if they tried. These few souls should not be oppressed but their life style should be viewed as a deviant one.

    These days people are acting on their gay feelings just because they want to. there is no social pressure to be straigt any longer. We are trying to make a society so people can act on their desires for no better reason than they want to. To me this whole gay movement is some bullshit. A marriage is between a man and a woman and a resonable relationship is between male and female. Nuff said.

  6. anonymous Says:

    I have improved so much with my “homophobia” that I don’t care what u do or got goin wit yourself, just don’t bring none of that shit my way…however I still want to know if one of my friends is gay or some shit…im not trying to be around somebody all the time who may be checking me out

  7. anonymous Says:

    i can deal with that “dont show, dont care” mindstate because though this country is based on self-expression, there are and should still be limitation (gay or straight) to what is appropriate to the general public. There are some gay people where I work but they dont speak vulgar or act out of line around me so it doesnt phase me. I’m not against them because they can be cool and they are human, but their choice of same sex partnership confuses me. For them to want to be treated as if being gay is a disability is stupid. Their trials and tribulations from adoption, marriage, work and living condition are in similarities to the racial & biracial partnerships as well as issues all over this country. You should never compare the gay civil rights movement to the black civil rights movement because “gay” is not a race but sexual preference by choice. Who you sleep with or want to spend the rest of your life with is your business, i think gay people should be given equal opportunity in the real world but not attention to where it would seem like affirmative action or diplomatic immunity when things arent understood or “under fire”.

  8. nativenotes Says:

    so is it the job of straight black men to look out for young gay black men who are contemplating suicide. Is it a black male problem or are we saying relegate it to just the gay community?

  9. no homo Says:

    i say neither…we dont have to the power to protect the gay community however as individuals we do have the power our friends & and close relative because we accept them for who they are…if its hard enough to get young brothas out the streets and into school to take life seriously, what can you say to a young gay man especially if he’s not doing the same thing as the straight guy on the corner…For most, we have experiences in order to find a solution to our everyday problems, but there are things people dont know or refuse to understand therefore we ignore or ridicule what’s not accepted from “different” individuals…suicide is no joke but i think more or less most people (including gay people) will do it for the attention they’re not getting…its sad to see people do that to themselves but bitchin’ in a blog won’t guarantee anything…Do what you feel is right in life and if you deal with it alone, get help…period

  10. rage Says:


  11. CLC Says:

    It’s good to see you address this topic in such and honest, yet insightful manner. For someone in your position and demographic (young, BLACK, MALE and educated) I am deeply moved that you did not “shy” away from the topic because of the taboo nature that surrounds it. Injustice is injustice. As well, hate is hate. It’s all rooted in ignorance and the fact that it’s affecting our youth is…well, I have no words (well, not any polite ones). Bullying is an issue that starts at home. And in a society that prides itself on civil liberties and such, it is evident that much remains to be seen regarding the rights and liberties of the homeosexual population, in addition to, how we raise our children to think and behave. You have opened yet another conversation that promotes a truthful dialogue amongst your readers. Maybe you should consider taking this blog to the Avenue Report and expanding it in your article? What better demographic to discuss this amongst than the readers of Avenue Report? Really, I want you to consider this. Furthermore, I agree with Food4Thought, “This article shows progress. Straight black and gay black America needs to take the same approach: connect, develop a worthy relationship, identify each others strengths and use faith in those relationships to obtain progress!” And I ask, who would be better to take it to the next level than you? Heir apparent, follow your leaders and trust their tactics: be a gentleman and act like a man of thought. Do what you have been entrusted to do.

  12. CLC Says:

    PEOPLE are responsible for looking out for PEOPLE who are considering committing suicide. When one comtemplates suicide it’s not about the what they have been called and by whom. When you’re sitting on the floor in your bathroom contemplating which way to cut or what pill will do the trick it’s about how YOU feel about yourSELF. And that’s not a gay or straight issue.

  13. FJ Says:

    We have allowed differences – whether they are class-based, colorized, religious denomination and even gender and sexuality – to fragment us as a people. Our status in America has always been tenuous at best, yet we continue to be preoccupied with superficial categorizations of what it is to be “Black.”

    How do we benefit as a people from excluding our own people based on categories that are not even indigenous to us as people? The differences and labels we use to judge ourselves are not universal concepts but are European in origin and internalized by the oppressed. Ridiculing and demonizing Black people who are “different” hastens our own downfall. We only need to look at the socioeconomic progress of other people of color who are relative newcomers to America for the reality check.

  14. Malachi Says:

    You’ve started quite a rousing discussion, old friend. I found your blog to be very thought-provoking and insightful. You nailed it when it came to the African-American community being uncomfortable with homosexuality. As a black, gay male, I can attest to the intolerance expressed by family and acquaintances. We’ve dealt with this form of ostracization for so long one becomes numb to it. You are stung. You process it. You move on. But yeah, I’m surprised that you of all people not only did a blog about it, but be sympathetic in regards to this topic. Ironic, really, considering the grief you once gave me before high school. We got past that and actually became friends. You’ve grown up, Cedric. It’s comforting to know that people can evolve and expand on their knowledge regarding certain, hot topics. Many people remain stagnated in a particular state of mind and ignorant of different cultures. But that’s just my take on it.

  15. PrettyLucifour Says:

    Without even getting into the topic of whether GLBT lifestyles are mere choices or not, your statement “If young men are killing themselves because of our ridicule of their lifestyle and we are all right with that, than I think there might not be as much wrong with them as there actually is with us” says it ALL!

    Thanks for such a timely, relevant article!

  16. lildeemar Says:

    Ced, I’m so happy you did this piece. Today, in our society, it’s difficult for a straight male to so much utter the word ‘gay’ without being ridiculed by his friends. With that said, I admire your conviction to speak out.

    Regarding the actual piece, I wholeheartedly agree that the gay community has been ostracized socially and politically. Personally I feel that all prejudices are absurd especially considering where we are as, not only a nation, but as a people. Humanity. We are so advanced as far as our entertainment purposes are concerned but when it comes to who we are as a people, we don’t care. These days it’s every man for himself and yet…we’re so concerned with every thing everyone else is doing. We watch cribs and reality shows and surf tabloid websites. Why? Where is this getting us?

    I can’t tell you how badly I hate when I hear people blame what’s in the media on the consumer. Yes, it is a fact that we buy it and will keep buying it so long as it’s on the shelves, but if knowledge-based magazines were more readily available, they’d sell too. The gay community is being ostracized as a result of pure ignorance. People fear the unknown. Plain and simple. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to end. Not just with gays but with all races, religions, etnicities…

    Peace and Love.

  17. Necole Bitchie Says:

    wow this piece blew me away and I’m more than happy to see that it may have changed one person’s opinion (if only one). You gave a very thorough look of our society and how we respond to homosexuals. I loved this!

  18. L. Michele Says:

    Nativenotes, thanks for bringing this to light for those who were in the dark. As an avid blog reader, I frequent both sites mentioned in this piece, Love B. Scott and ConcreteLoop. So, it was only natural for me to be excited about this union…however, my excitement didn’t last long!! Given the day and age we live in, I must say I was shocked at the backlash concreteloop received. Now, I am not Naive to the MANY prejudices that are alive and kicking. I was moreso disturbed that we couldn’t get past his character. If we can see pass the exterior and listen with our eyes closed, we’d be shocked at just how enlightened we would be!

  19. Quincy LeNear Says:

    Hello to all.
    I want to commend the author of the Blog for addressing the issues of gay prejudice in the Black community. I also wanted to respond to a few comments I read on the Blog.


    Correction: To say that Gay people are always flaunting themselves is a misrepresentation based in ignorance. First and foremost, the majority of the Gay people you know, and yes you know many, don’t let on to the fact that they are gay. I was in a 7-year relationship with a man and I continued to hang with my boys, walk the walk and talk the talk. I was Best Man at the wedding. I am the godfather of their children. I counseled them through marital problems. I have been a great and loyal friend. However, I could never be 100% honest because I was afraid of losing them and that ate me up inside over the years. They never knew all of who I was and that lie kept us from being real with each other. My story is quite typical and more common than not.

    The few flamboyant people you are referring to are not the majority in our community. However, they are the most visible and recognizable. Yes, they make a lot of noise and want to be heard, but who are they hurting? Unfortunately, the larger number of Gays and Lesbians are in the closet or on the DL because they fear the judgment and loss of family and community for acknowledging their sexuality.

    Just as there are people who fit the stereotypes associated with Black people, the same goes for Gay people. The problem arises when you accept the stereotype as the whole of the population and you begin to generalize for your need to discriminate. All gay people are not the same and don’t all view their sexualities as their identities. Many of us want to be judged by the content of our character and not by the context of our sexuality. So you actually know more Gay people than you are aware of who aren’t “in your face.”

    I was fortunate because I didn’t lose anyone after coming out. It actually tightened my relationships with friends and family and they are quite protective of me. I am actually no different a person now than the one they have always known – except I love someone of the same sex and they are aware of that. I didn’t suddenly run out and put on a polka dot wedding dress and wave a rainbow flag or buy a pair of leather chaps with the ass out to walk down the street in. That’s not me and it’s NOT everybody.

    In my opinion there are some Gay people who are the equivalent to ghetto Black folks. They don’t represent us all any more than does ghetto folks represent the majority of Black people. Some people just want attention (I am not referring to feminine gay men). However, if someone isn’t a threat to you, they should have the right to live as outrageously and vocally as they want. If you are loud and crazy, go right ahead. Have a ball! I enjoy watching your freedom.

    2nd improper assumption is that straight people don’t flaunt their heterosexuality. Have you not watched a music video, heard an R&B or Rap song? Have you not picked up Sports Illustrated, Vibe, FHM, The Source, and Maxim? Have you checked your junk mail or simply surfed the web without straight porn popping up? Girls Gone Wild. Ebony Honeys, etc. Have you been hiding under a rock? Heterosexuality is very flamboyant. So to say that Heterosexuals aren’t “in your face” is simply incorrect. That’s like saying we aren’t constantly reminded that we are Black and a minority by the white ruling class of this country. Do we not constantly see that the norm and standard of living is white? Off course we do, as does heterosexuality assert itself in every public aspect of life.

    You can kiss, hold hands, and slap each other on the ass in public without a moments concern. Gay people can’t do that without it “offending” your straight sensibilities.

    When you are a part of a ruling class or a status quo you have no reason to question whether or not you are privileged or whether or not you play a part in discrimination or oppression. Your privilege is automatic when you are born into the status quo. The same goes for being born a Black Male and Heterosexual. You are the norm and you set the standard of what everyone is told to be. The cabinets are made for you to reach, not us.

    Your homophobia is obvious from your comments “keep it to themselves” and “Fags”‘ and “Nonsense.” Most people with extreme homophobic views are typically insecure about their own sexuality and masculinity. There are numerous studies and years of research to support that. So I would do some introspection before I let my hate be shown in the future.

    Racist White people called us Niggers and felt we should stay in our places. Racist White people said, “why don’t they keep their nigger music and shit to themselves.” Racist White people lynched and killed black people for being different. White people fought to prevent civil and human rights from black people. And yes, they found Biblical scripture to support their arguments. Why? Because the subjugation of Black people was the foundation of their privilege. Can you not see the parallels?

    And to clear up another misconception, there is a difference between a sexual act and a sexual orientation. There is a difference between a “lifestyle” and a “life.” Homosexuality is not a “lifestyle choice” and is not an act, no more than being born Black is a willful act or “lifestyle choice.” You can commit a homosexual act and not be GAY. Many men and women have had sexual encounters with other men or women at some point in their lives, but if they are straight by orientation, they typically don’t continue having gay sex. They are straight!

    Many gay people have straight sex and may try to lead straight lives. It does not make them straight. They are orientated to the same sex, whether they are married, celibate, sexually active, or not. People are too concerned about the sexual act and not understanding of the orientation – which is biological. The unfortunate part is that too many gay people try to conform and are never allowed to lead an authentic life. They often damage the lives of those they love by pretending and hiding.

    There would be no Closet or DL if we didn’t all play a part in forcing people into them. Even I have internalized homophobia and I am Gay.

    “Lifestyle” is one of those annoying phrases I hear all the time. What the fuck? My lifestyle is the same as many of yours. I got a job. I pay bills and taxes. Gas costs too much. I love my momma. I go to the movies periodically. I listen to Jay Z. I have an apartment with a couch, and a bed, and a sink, and a fridge, and a tub, etc. I go to a Barbershop to get a fade and listen to them talk shit. I like nice sounds in my ride. I go to the club every now and then to get plastered, look at folks, maybe even dance. I take some luxuries like fined dining and traveling abroad to treat myself periodically. I’m a pretty average and normal, middle class Black American. That’s my lifestyle!

    Now when you enter into my bedroom and worry about with whom and how I have sex, it suddenly becomes a “lifestyle”. Then it totally negates my daily routine, political beliefs, spiritual beliefs, how I socialize, who I am as a person, my likes and dislikes. That’s pure and simply STUPID.

    Then there is the “choice” argument. I am GAY because I was born and/or developed innate sexual and emotional attractions to the same sex and I “choose” to accept myself. I choose to be authentic. The only choice in being gay is the choice to accept it.

    Honestly, for me to pretend to be straight is a choice. For me to attempt to hide and deny myself is a choice. Those are willful decisions. Being GAY (and I said, BEING) is not a willful decision. It is not a choice, no more than being Black is a choice. You can alter the behavior but you can’t change the heart. Trust me, I have made those choices in the past and it didn’t serve me nor the people I loved. It only served to appease your unfounded fear, ignorance, and prejudice.

    It’s like a White person telling you that as long as you don’t act Black (What is acting black anyways?) you won’t be Black. Don’t look at a piece of Chicken. Stay away from collard greens and corn bread. Kool-Aid and Malt liquor is off limits. Perm your hair. No Afros, Corn Rows, Twists, Fades, and Weaves. Loose you Ass ladies. Suck in your lips. Pinch your nose. Stay out of the sun. Stop listening to that Jay Z and P Diddy rap stuff. Stop wearing those baggy jeans. Leave the bling alone. Cancel that BET. Take up Rugby and leave Basketball alone. As long as you don’t admit and accept that you are Black and do everything White – even marry White, then you are cured of your Ethnicity. It was just a choice anyways.

    Does that not sound absolutely ridiculous? Is that not laden with stereotypes of what “Black” is believed to be? This is what Gay people are told we should do. Who does it serve? And why?

    Last but not least these comments below…

    “Most “gay” people are really bi-sexual and find they are more gay than they thought once they experiment a little.”

    Correction: Most PEOPLE are Bisexual. Human sexuality is proven to be fluid and is on a continuum. No one falls completely on either end of the scale and may move back and forth due to many factors. Read the Kinsey Reports and many more studies of human sexuality. That is not to say that you aren’t or can’t be Heterosexual. It is to say that Heterosexuality is not an absolute – neither is Homosexuality. Most GAY people go through a period of Bisexuality because they are attempting to conform to heterosexual norms. They are often in question of their sexuality because they are taught that it is aberrant and could be a phase that they will mature beyond. Others believe that projecting heterosexual desires makes them “less gay” and more acceptable to society.

    It’s self-hate and internalized homophobia.

    “Other gay people are kids who were molested by gay men when they were younger and got a screwed up psyche when it comes to their sexual preference because of the mental trauma it caused.”

    Correction: Most child molesters are Heterosexual men. Child molestation is typically an act of control. Child molesters get satisfaction by being able to dominate and control children because they are powerless. The same goes for rapist. Do your research and stop giving misinformation. If you knew anything about child molestation you would find that the majority of predators are married, or actively heterosexual males, whose sexual preference is of the opposite sex. Also many child molesters are victims of child molestation who were emotionally damaged and so they repeat the act on children. Many of them don’t discriminate between the genders of their child victims. They have often molested both boys and girls.

    If you want to be concerned about child molesters then you should be circumspect of the straight men around your children, especially family and close friends. You are too busy trying to point fingers at Gay people and our children are still being assaulted right under your eyes.

    The numbers of openly gay men who are survivors of child sexual abuse are just as much of a minority to the Gay population as are straight survivors of sexual child abuse to the Heterosexual population. I am a survivor of sexual child abuse and I have worked with victims and survivors for 14 years. Both a man and a woman abused me. However, my partner of 12 years was never sexually abused. Neither were the majority of my Gay friends. However, many of my STRAIGHT male friends were too assaulted as children by men and they did not become Gay or Lesbian. What you present is a fallacy and a slippery slope. A very huge generalization that is divisive and damaging to EVERYONE.

    “Then their are others who actually are gay.”

    Correct: But there are also true bisexual people who desire men and women. There are heterosexual people who commit homosexual acts for pay or simply to experience it, or for sexual relief (prisons). One thing I know is that being openly Gay is not easy. There is no extrinsic benefit to being gay in a country and community that hates you and thinks you are an abomination. So it makes no real sense to argue that people are just choosing to be gay for fad or fashion.

    There are still Gay people being murdered in this country who may or may not make it to the front pages on the newspaper. There are still Gay people being denied housing, fired from jobs, denied health benefits, religious membership, ostracized from family and friends, discriminated against, and even physically attacked. Last New Years in Chicago a house party of gay men was shot up by two gunmen with no apparent motive. The neighborhood applauded it – a Black neighborhood. I can picture the photos of a Black man swinging and burning from a tree as the white racist and their families stand around, smiling, taking photos for keepsakes. How are we any better?

    Why would anyone “choose” this life unless to live a lie was even worst?

    Quincy LeNear

  20. Natosha Rose Says:

    You know, my personal struggle with my spirituality has been a long one, my whole 35 years of life. I even left the church at one point, from 15 years old to about 29. I love my people, (I’m biracial, Black and Puerto Rican), but I cannot for the life of me, understand how 2 groups, so steeped in spirituality, can be so judgemental. Yes the bible says that homosexuality is a sin, but it also says that disrespecting your parents is a sin; That wanting to have sex with your neighbors wife is a sin; That extramarital sex, (lust), is a deadly sin, (death and Hell), that adultury is puishable by death; That slaves should abey their masters. But we know that chldren, and adults do and say things on a daily basis to disrespect the people that raised and cared for them; Slavery is illegal. The divorce rate in this country is over %50. and let’s not talk about all the children born to single parents. Yet we baptise them every day. And I don’t recall hearing on the news about anyone, male or female being stoned, with rocks to death, not high.
    What I want to know is, who says this sin is worse than that sin? When was it decided and by whom that Homosexuality was the worse thing that anyone could do? why can we as a community forgive rapists, murderers, abusers, thieves and crooks in general, but not gay men. I say men because for some reason we got the idea that two women is bed is Hot, and should be taped and watched even if we don’t encourage our wived and sisters to do that, it’s not really gay, just experimenting. But a gay black/Latino, man, must be shummed by the community.I grew up in the South Bronx, poor, so I recognize the hood mentality, the need to project strength and success. But untill we realize,as a people, that none of us are above anyone else, that we need to all be working to improve on an induvidual level and as a community, we will all FAIL. If you are a follower of Christ, then you know that no one could ever earn redemption, that the reason Jesus died was to pay for All of OUR sins.That everything is either divinely inspired or divinely allowed. If you don not believe in Christ, you must at least admit that nature is filled with diversity, and thiose who release negativity into the universe, get negativity back, often tenfold. And for those that say, but I can’t hide that i’m black, nobody has to know you are gay, I sat this: just because you could pass for white, should you have to?

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