Black woman expressing her opinion on the downfall of black women

The following post is reflective of the views of a young woman who made a video and posted it on youtube about other women of color. Her youtube profile and views can be found at http://www.youtube.com/user/melosidad1

I think she creates an interesting dialogue and I am curious to see what your reaction will be to this video.  Please feel free to comment and check out an earlier post that I wrote expressing my own views on women of color titled  “Letter to a Young Black Female”. Peace and Love!

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14 Responses to “Black woman expressing her opinion on the downfall of black women”

  1. Ayana Says:

    So I agree and disagree with her. I agree that black women are selling themselves short. Black women will bend over and pop for a certain amount of money. Black women will buy gucci shoes and live in the projects and think its ok. I agree that black women need to raise themselves and their standards. However, black men need to stop expecting and praising the negativity. There are plenty of black men that won’t even date a black woman. Of course, that doesn’t mean black women have to date outside of their race. But, if you are being overlooked or aren’t being treated right by any man, you need to find someone who will treat you the way you deserve (black, white or purple.) Love doesn’t have a color and you shouldn’t be forced or expected to date someone because of your color. You also shouldn’t deal with disrespect because the man is black. Black women should love black men, but not at the expense of their own happiness. If black men learned to take care of and respect their women and not treat them like porn stars and video hoes, maybe black women would respect and take care of their black men.

    I disagree with her statements about hair also. If your hair is natural or relaxed it doesn’t make you more or less black. If you are changing your hair because you see something on television, yes. However, there are some who relax their hair because it makes it easier to manage. Those should not be looked at as “double agents” because they are breaking hair utensils.

    The media is the worse representation of blacks. I DO NOT and WILL NOT watch BET. Every time they show a video of a woman booty shaking, or show a movie that furthers negative black imagery, it sets the whole race back. Each time a person of another race asks me about something negative I have to excuse their ignorance because its something that BLACK entertainment television shows them. Its pretty ridiculous.

  2. Ma'at Says:

    I must say this piece has invoked quite a few thoughts in my mind about black women and black men in modern American society. I must agree with this young black woman on many of her points including the fact that we as black women need to take back our self respect and self pride. The images of black woman in the media are horrific and degrading. Either we are shaking our asses in music videos or we are fucking dirty ass white men to get a grammy ( pause). Ladies we are the decedents of queens. We are so much more than society would have us believe we are and we must reclaim that past to reclaim our future. I must, however, disagree with the comments about not purchasing Jay Z or Beyonce albums, as a means of distinguishing “those” black people from “these” black people. Any action that further divides our already broken community can only result in further destruction. Instead of creating a “us” and “them” sub-culture within black culture, let us educate each other and create a discourse within our community. Let us converse about why these young sisters are shaking their asses on television for 5 minutes of fame. Are they really making their choices because white society told them to? Or is it deeper than that. We can’t get anywhere if we do not get there together. POINT BLANK…
    On another note, I am sister who loves, and I mean loves, black men. It infuriates me when I here sisters bitch and moan about how there are no good black men out there when that is not the case. The question is not where are all the good black men but how do I recognize a good black man when I see one. I say this not to ignore the fact that so many of our brothers are locked away or lost to a system that created them, but to acknowledge that LADIES WE NEED TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND START HEALING OURSELVES FROM THE INSIDE OUT, not the other way around.
    Oh and FYI, I know quite a few good black men, including the maker of this blog. S.E.A. (you know I had to shout you out)
    Peace

  3. Osay Says:

    I have to say…. I agree with her comments. I’ll admit that we (black women) completely bought into that whole “Independent Women” craze, all supported by [insert song here] & the rest of the music industry. And while I still think there’s a certain respect that goes along with being able to take care of yourself financially….we took that shit too far. Seriously…. Women (black, white, hispanic, asian, etc…) we weren’t created to be alone. Man/Women is the original 2-for-1 combo created by God Himself. Eve was created as a mate for Adam and they both had their responsibilities. Ladies we get so caught up in listing what we won’t do and put up with that we don’t pay attention to what we NEED to be doing and what our responsibilities are. (If you need help, look up Proverbs 31.) There are just certain things that go along with being a woman PERIOD ….. black, white, hispanic, asian, whatever…

    Now I’ve had this convo with a few of my male friends and fellas this isn’t to let you off the hook either. Yes, God made you the head of the household and family structure, but those titles came with responsibilities – being a good leader/provider/role model in your household. If you aren’t taking care of those responsibilities (ALL OF THEM- or at least trying to), then you can’t honestly fault us for not entrusting you with our lives. And the lack of good black men that carry their responsibilities contributed to this whole “Independent Woman” epidemic…… God made you my leader, but I’m not supposed to watch you lead me off a cliff. (FYI: A true leader incorporates God, the opinions of his mate, and the total impact on his family – not just himself – before making decisions.) But back to my ladies…..

    Regarding the false European ideal of beauty…. Let’s be honest…. It’s the polar opposite of who/what we are and were created to be. Caucasians have been hating on our looks for years and telling us that we’re not beautiful. But its funny how that didn’t stop them from leaving their beds and sneaking into the slave quarters to get some from us…. Hmmmmmm….. Yet, white women are rushing to get lip, booty, and whatever else implants to look more like us and attract our men. We are beautiful the way God created us and I don’t understand why we don’t get that. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I love myself enough not to make changing my image the focus of my life. Beauty is not an occupation, and it fades, so why are we constantly putting our lives on the line for this false, glamorized, ever-changing image of beauty? [RIP: Donda West] Let’s be real, Beyonce doesn’t even look like Beyonce so why are we trying to? And only 8% of the world’s female population wears less than a size 10……

    So YES! To calling out the double agents (except Halle-I still love her!) I’ve BEEN AGAINST BEYONCE SINCE 2000!!! But I need my perm…sorry can’t get with her on that one! LMAO!!! I’ve got that extra nappy African hair… no way… lol!

    Well here I go with another long a$$ response, and I could still go on forever about this topic, but I’ll stop here.. Basically, as a community (males & females) we need to step up and grow up.

    Good look Sandz!!!

    “The Music Industry is the new Cotton.”

  4. P Says:

    I am sorry, but I had to stop listening to her after about a minute or two into the video. I just don’t understand how you can sit here and talk about what black women need to do or need to stop doing. Yet reinforce a sterotype at the same time. Why must a you change the inflection of your voice to reflect a “sistah” stating that there are no good black males.

    Again, I stopped listening to her early but after reading the posts above. I think we also need to look deeper and see why someone thinks it’s ok to live in the projects and buy gucci shoes. We can blame the media and BET all day. But, We are at FAULT too. It’s the family structure within the black community that is suffering. The fact that children are raising children. We need to go back to the root of the problem and try to start correcting it there.

  5. Rum$ Says:

    I feel like the female in the video clip raises an excellent point in the sense that we as men need the assistance and encouragement of the our black women if we are going to overcome the obstacles in this corrupt unfair country in which we are all inhabitants. As a black man I can say there is no experience like being a black man where system that you live in is designed purposely to discourage your greatness. I am not going to give females all the blame. However, words do have meaning so if you say all “black men aint shit” you give them a reason not to live up to their expectations and responsibilities as black men in our community. I was raised by a king and I believe that I carry myself as such. However, the majority of black men in America unfortunately did not grow up with a male presence in their lives. Not to say that is an excuse but I feel like if you never had a shining example of what a positive black male is in your immediate surroundings, who are you supposed to look imitate. Also, I think that we “pigeon-hole” a lot of black men that are incarcerated. We are all human and make mistakes. Simply because they are in jail does not make them horrible people or any less of a man. There are way worse individuals and cowards that walk the streets that you see everyday and may not even know it. I kind of veered off the topic but I say all this to say… we are all in this together. I am not looking for a submissive female and I don’t believe any real black man is. I think they are just in search to find a queen that believes in his greatness as much as he does and vice versa. If we start paying attention and highlighting the accomplishments of the gentleman that are out here making a way for themselves and are tearing down the negative stereotypes instead of categorizing him and grouping him with those who are not, you might be able to see that there is a crowd of positive black men that are waiting to be seeked out, claimed and appreciated. I don’t agree with the young lady when she said we should disenfranchise the entertainers that make music that other races ATTEMPT to emulate because they are trying to do something positive. People are using them as scapegoats for not being able to think for themselves. Everything an artist tells you in a song is not to be taken as “gospel.” This is called the entertainment industry for a reason people and how they look is simply to draw your attention. Also, how can we ever move forward as a people if we leave each other behind. In synopsis, I believe we need to stop blaming each other for the stagnant state of our people and move to do something about it. Like my brother S.E.A. would say “Let’s Make It Happen!” PEACE & LOVE.

  6. sethandray Says:

    I love this girl for speaking her mind in such an exceptional fashion. As a black male, it was actually shocking to hear this type of message coming from a black female in 2008. That alone validates almost everything she said. I do not agree that she’s speaking about ALL black women but this is something that ALL black women to need to hear. You may not agree with everything she says, but at a very minimum she forces you to analyze your own thoughts and actions. That alone is worth the price of admission.

    I do believe that American values have been shaped by all people. We’re all guilty (if that’s how you feel) of allowing our ethics, morals, and principles to slip in value. I agree that it is crucial for ALL black people to get a deep understanding of their history. But it is also important that we understand how to live in America with every other group of ethnic people.

    With so many differences amongst us, I think it’s best that we center our focus of creating Black unity by agreeing to focus heavily on Black history. But the future will depend on us being able to live as Americans who are black, not as blacks in America.

    -Ray

    sethandray.wordpress.com

  7. Nandi Says:

    While I agree with most of what she said, I feel that her message may have been a bit too “preachy”. To reach people today it is imperative that your delivery is as important as your words. I think that she has a lot of good things to say and a lot of valid points, but for the future she should concentrate on trying to reach people in a voice that speaks TO them, instead of AT them.
    ~Peace, Nandi

  8. sbrooke Says:

    Interesting…..

    Why must we place blame on one another?? Personally, its not a black female / black male thing…its US as a whole. Growing and building together…we BOTH need improvement! Know your role and encourage one another to build up our communities.

  9. E Says:

    I think that the young lady has a lot of strong points. But I also have a few of my own that I figured I could air out. A lot of the blame rests on the generational divide from our parents during the Civil Rights Era to our generation who was born from 75 through the late 80’s. I don’t know who to blame, but somehow, the fight and struggle instilled in our elders of that era was lost in translation when our parents were raising us. When I say “we”, I don’t mean myself (because I was raised quite well by a strong black woman who instilled values I don’t see a majority of men having), but we as a collective people and generation. I’m not sure if that drive and ethic was lost because of a lack of teaching or our generation’s inability to grasp and use those concepts to power us into the future, but I feel it’s our entire generation’s responsibility to get EVERYONE back on track.

    Growing up in the hip hop era, the black youth have to be THE most influential race/age group in the world. From our music to our style to dance, we’re all kings and queens. I don’t mean to come off as some Nas-type, sometimes preachy dude, but that responsibility is in all of us. I feel that way because as much as we can blame black women for being “black girls lost” and saying they aren’t anywhere close to being as womanly as the previous generation was; black men are just as much at fault because we accept what they give us. From leaving and forcing your child to be brought up in a single parent household, to not instilling values or showing and helping the youth grow to be as socially strong as they can be. A lot of men want a quick-fix type of woman who doesn’t offer much except for being attractive and having fly gear. Young women see this and try to emulate what they think men want out of their need to be desired. It seems like from that lack of moral upbringing, they end up being the “black girls lost” that we complain about.

    I think it’s our responsibility as men to lead by example, showing these women that that isn’t what we want or will accept. We need to let our women know that we need their support. That they don’t need the longest hair or the most expensive bags in order for real men to be able to appreciate them. Just be respectable, truthful, motivated women who don’t sit around waiting from a check from the government or significant other and we’ll do the same as men. It’s a dynamic cycle that both sexes need to take control of and do our collective best with. Hopefully, if we can’t grasp it, we can do our best with the next generation but I can say that I’ll do my part to try to make sure it happens now.

  10. Shakira Says:

    First, I appreciate this video for the conversation it sparks. However, the delivery of the speech is flat and so what could have been a powerful message sounds like a bedtime story.

    Regarding the content of her speech, I think that people need to stop having this impossible notion in their mind of the “black community.” Has it ever existed? No it hasn’t, because for as long as we’ve been Black we have been slaves and victims of racism (which is a concept that results from the construction of race). There is no utopia for “Black” people, just as their is no utopia for any one group of people who sometimes your only common factor is the color of your skin. Don’t get me wrong. I would like to see a more positive light for Black women and Black people as a whole, but the way to get there is through discussion. Having a real conversation discussing all the aspects of our culture (good and bad) rather than pointing fingers or determing what is acceptable behavior for someone because he or she is Black. BET aired a GREAT 2 part panel discussion about hip hop and Black America that touched on this conversation that needs to happen.

    Speaking of BET: BET and/or hip hop is not the downfall of Black people and we need to stop looking for agents to blame for why individual people make the decisions they make for how they display and conduct themselves, Black or white. Prostitution, Degredation, Poverty, Drugs, Guns, Violence, Greed, etc all existed loooooooooong before BET and hip hop and it will still exist when BET is a thing of the past. The downfall is with the people who allow BET and hip hop to raise their kids…but that’s a whole other conversation.

    Obama ’08!

  11. NH Says:

    As I watched the beginning of the video, I found the young lady’s statements to be repugnant because of her broad generalizations of Black women. I am none of those things that she listed. I love myself and I love my people. I even have moments of reflection in which I tell myself that I love being Black. However, as her oration progressed, I found myself agreeing with some of the things she stated, mainly her disgust and disappointment with Black women in videos.

    During my senior year at Spelman, I recall our protest against Nelly performing at our school because of the dejectedly famed “Tip Drill” video. Our protest was against the portrayal of Black women in the video that society has commonly come to associate with Black women. Even Black women, such as the young lady in the video mistakenly associated and over generalized the women in the videos as “who” Black women are, thereby forgetting about women, such as myself and my friends, who are educated both intellectually and culturally.

    Nonetheless, I believe that this over-sexual image of Black women stems from slavery. In “Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism,” one of my favorite authors, bell hooks, discussed how during the slave trade African American women were stripped of their clothing and beaten. hooks explained how this nakedness served as a constant reminder of the Black women’s sexual image and vulnerability. hooks further explained how during slavery Black women were schooled in the art of obedience to higher authorities through society. As a result, White males did not view Black women as a threat.

    Perhaps this view has transcended into the minds of modern society. For example, during an interview with a well-known law firm I was told by a person of color that one of the partners would never hire me despite my credentials because I was not the “right person.” To make matters worse, he followed up that comment by stating that I would be a good “minority” candidate because I would not be an obvious threat.

    I say all that to say that making over-generalizations and degrading comments in a public arena is probably one of the worst things we can do to each other. Although this video and others depicting Black women in a negative connotation are viewed by Blacks, they are also viewed by Whites. So, if this is what we think of each other, what non-Blacks think?

  12. Kaleidoscope Says:

    First I will say that some of her points are valid but I don’t agree with all. As a black woman I was offended and slightly embarrassed for this young lady and her lack of apparently knowledge of self, the black community, and all the things that make us great. She starts off with the black woman’s twisted image about self and how we have turned against our black men, okay good start but then it takes a turn for the worst when she seems resentful talking about sex and the black man. I am really feeling a way so I will grab points from the video and just try to explain from there b/c clearly I can go on for days…

    1. Black women are the enemy with our self hate, disgust for own people, and conforming to the white feminist image.

    She equates this point with the perms, weaves, coloring of hair, and bleaching of skin. Respect. I will not speak for black women in general but I will speak for me. I have a perm, had weaves before, never colored my hair and would dare not bleach my pretty ass skin. I have a perm, no relaxer because of my mother. My mother is a BLACK WOMAN, she could be considered lazy or uneducated on hair care cuz hunny she could not do my beautiful, curly, thick, long hair on her own. I would suffer for 3 consecutive days of “indoor no seeing the light of day until your hair is finished” hell because she pulls hard, has no patience and I’m tender headed. She needed a different way – So Why put your child through that when you are presented by a BLACK MAN, that there is a simpler way to go? Think on it. So off to Ms. Jeanette, I go. Finally I have hair the will blow in the wind and fall back into place nicely, thanks Mr. Garret A. Morgan. Too bad I never knew that I would be judged by MY OWN PEOPLE because of something my mother did to make my hair easier to manage for myself at the time. Am I conforming or am I just sticking to what I know? If I try to grow my perm out on my own it will more than likely fall out b/c i dont know what I’m doing and then I’m really going to be mad and go right back to what worked best for me. I respect and admire all the natural beauties out there and one day hope to be one, WHEN I have someone that can care for a treat it regularly, b/c its a process and I don’t like to do my own hair period. Anyway, our hair (along with confidence, grace, shapes, and style) is one thing that SOOOOOOO many people from different cultures admire; How we can do it one way one day and twist and turn it up the next. No one can do like us – so how is that self hate and disgust for own. Black people thrive on our diversity.

    2. She made a point of black women wanting all this expensive shit living in the hood. Yes folks please don’t come in the welfare office with Gucci shoes and talking about some your baby doesn’t have any formula. Mind you this isn’t a black woman problem this is problem within the community itself. Black MEN and WOMEN overcompensate with many things just to show that they are, can and will be equal to the higher man in power, typically white, but now the up and coming hispanics and asians. Black people need to stick together, and build with one another versus being in competition with each other trying to show the other Black Man or Woman up. Its not a gender thing its a BLACK thing.

    3. She said that Black Women point the finger at examples of what we thing Black Men want. Thus that leads to us embracing white men who love us as we are. Every one has their preferences no? From the beginning of time there has been slave owners living secret lives in love with somebody black, that was against the law I’m sure, but can you help who you love? I can’t. It just so happens that I’m in love with the Black Man. Ain’t nothing wrong with all these other folks out here but I know what I want my family to look like. I don’t mind building up a Black Man aka Upgrading. BUT There are plenty of Black PEOPLE who are just content with living in the ‘hood, not I. So is it my duty to try and convince every black man that they should have goals and dreams? Uh no. Little boys yes I will encourage but grown ass men, I will not. After a while a person’s mind is made up and they have already decided with themselves and not God that their shit is not going to get better. Complaining about how they are still being suppressed by the white man, and “this one is doing this, why can’t I do that?” and ” these mita mita/punjabi/chinks own everything.” YES THEY WILL IF YOU DONT FIGURE A WAY TO DO SOMETHING. I am not going to abandon you but sweetie its not my responsibility to try and change your negative thought patterns. I have enough positivity to last a lifetime in my heart but ain’t nothing worst than someone that don’t want to be open to change their own situation. Therefore, I need to make moves to someone who is open to better their situation.

    3. Nonetheless, degradation of black women is sickening. The degradation of any woman is ridiculous. Its not cool for her to say that its okay for everyone else to do but Black woman shouldn’t. NO!! No matter what race you are, if this is the image of ANY woman portrayed to ANYONE they just may expect it from all. Grant it, black women take a lot of heat due to “hip-hop” but its not an image that any woman of any race should allow. I may look like a “black” woman but my family immediate and extended range in looks from white to creole, therefore I don’t want any extension of my family degraded or disrespect. We do need to grab hold on this ASAP, but it must start with our children. Regardless of what is on the television, radio, internet or billboards, we must realize in AMERICA sex sells, that will not go away, but we have to explain to our baby girls that regardless of what is everywhere you are better, and YOU baby girl can help change the IMAGE of YOUR FUTURE.

    4. Lastly, She seems resentful of the successful black people in the entertainment industry. Jay-Z lived in the Hood Hood figured a way out, capitalized upon it and is now OWNING and RUNNING things. He uses his status to reach out, no? Is he supposed to be successful and still live in the hood? Lil’ Wayne is on drugs. He has things he needs to sort out for himself. He is a lyrical genius but has grown up within the sexploitation presented by his ELDER BLACK MEN, that this is what works, so run with it. Beyonce’ OD’s with the blonde hair at times, but is an extremely elegant natural beauty. Her light colored skin has to do with her success? More than likely so, but its white people who buy her music. So what do you do? Listen to old slave spirituals and hymns because the image on the screen is not your ideal. Do something about it make what you want seen visual. Halle Berry is half white so I won’t even go there. Its a fight to the top regardless and alot of Black people, are intimidated by the challenge. But MY generation is generation of believers and want nothing but a challenge. My group is trying to start a revolution of change, so just because its not seen its not being done right? Wait, no this is just her opinion so should it matter?

    All in all I feel that She generalized a melting pot of women from a conversation that went wrong, and youtube video whose message seem to have gone over her head. She’s not happy with herself. Yes my dear, you are the ideal image of a black woman, wait no my bad you’re not b/c we have over 144 shades of black ppl filled with different shapes, sizes, accents and mind states. We are who we are. It is however, our responsibility to be proactive in the survival of the community as it is in any other community. We need to work with each other, which we rarely do. Sometimes it gets better but than it gets a little worst and we give up. We have to have faith always. We give up on each other too easy. We need to be better as a team, not a just big mama saving the day. There are NO big mama’s NO MORE. We just need to start over. And all we can do from here is start with our youth. Open a business, a dry cleaner, a market, clothing store, hair salon, candy store, youth center, etc. make a way to be seen by your babies on daily basis. Show them that they can have something too, and that they don’t have to go to the next culture to get it. All these other folks have come over and adapted but we, we are still complaining because we were brought against our will, but thats what makes us so resilient, lets use it! Something has to change and doesn’t need to start with just the black woman. It a collective effort.

  13. Dai Says:

    Honestly, I’m sick of girls who try to tell me that I’m less black than they are because they wear afros, as if going to the salon every month is somehow deleting the history of my African American ancestors and my heritage…like I actually go to the little Korean store with a devilish smirk on my face when I have a box of Soft & Beautiful in my hand, thinking that now I’m one step closer to Britney Spears and two steps away from slavery!! I really just want to be able to get a comb through my hair without breaking it…I don’t understand what makes this girl better than the people who told me when I was growing up that I can’t be REAL Black because I’m from MA, and there can’t be too many Black people up there…or because I come from a nice neighborhood…or because I’m smart, talented, or well-behaved. I remember how a lot of the Black kids I grew up with tried to hide their talents and intelligence because they felt that being smart might cause them to be ostracized from people of their own race. It’s a shame that this girl is willing to try to determine for all her viewers who is allowed to be “one of us” and who is a “double agent”, after going on and on about how we as Black people need to be “as ONE.”

    I agree with her about the skin bleaching and the colored contacts; to me, those represent low confidence. Before anyone calls me a hypocrite because I can accept changing my NATURAL hair to straight hair but will not accept changing my NATURAL dark skin to a lighter color, let me say that in my opinion some changes are just more acceptable than others: nobody has any problems with someone who wants to change their NATURAL crooked teeth to straight ones using braces…no woman would have any problems with removing their NATURAL malignant cancer cells from their body…few parents have any problems changing what God NATURALLY gave to their newborn son by having them circumcised… My point is that some changes are okay if they make things easier…like perms make it easier to comb my hair!! Skin bleaching doesn’t serve a significant functional purpose in my eyes, which is why I can agree with the girl on that one. I love my dark skin, and I agree that everyone (man and woman) should be proud of the skin that they were born in. And let me take this opportunity to let everyone who is reading this know that I’m tired of hearing that I’m “so beautiful for a dark-skinned black girl”…I don’t think any further explanation is necessary…

  14. Pinks Says:

    So it’s nearly 4 am and I finally have the time to settle down and comment on this video.

    First, kudos to her for recognizing the rampant hotassmessness occurring with very many black women today. I think one of the biggest problems we face as normal brown people of sub-Saharan ancestry is a general lack of self-reflection and that good old trigger word complacency. For every one of us who is offended by or takes issue with many of the negative depictions of the Black woman in various outlets, there are another two who revel in those portrayals and actually subscribe to those sets of beliefs which inspire them. It’s quite a terribly sad situation, but daily I see young Black women celebrating and perpetuating stereotypes of us as loud, overly aggressive ghetto queens. While many of us are not, and choose instead to distance ourselves from such portrayals, there are those who jump at the chance to be someone’s next sack-warmer…

    It’s funny that in order to play this video, I had to pause another video: actually it was an online clip from a porn site that I am using as research for my upcoming Media Research Project: “Money over Bitches: The Degradation of Black Women in the Porn Industry.” While I must say some clips are interesting to say the least, many are downright saddening and the fact that so many men celebrate and encourage the objectification of our queens lets me know that Black women are NOT the only ones to blame. Yes, some of us can get kinda hot headed and we may make you want to strangle our necks sometimes, WE ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND! WE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY!

    When you were taken from our homes, we were there taking care of your children, and maintaining your homestead.When some of you left voluntarily, we were there to pick up the pieces and carry right on and continue doing the damn thing. Many women, my mother included – had to take on the weight of both theirs and their mens’ responsibilities, and they did it without complaining about how “THE MAN” was trying to keep them down and how THEY JUST NEEDED SOME TIME TO GET THEMSELVES TOGETHER…
    I feel as though so many Black men have this hostility toward independent (do you know what that mean? lol) and headstrong Black women, and try to portray us as evil or like we “don’t know how to act right.” Women who have had to do it all on their own do sometimes take their aggressions out on Black men, and while I’m not excusing this behavior, I think YOU should show US some more support.

    Out in public, if you see a lady about to enter a doorway, open the door for her. Don’t call us bitches, be respectful, and stand up for us if you see us being disrespected by somebody else. Prime example, I was walking down the street today in some sweatpants and as I passed by a barber shop, some guy was yelling out “damn you got a fat booty, girl let me kiss that booty, let me eat that fat ass girl” IN THE MIDDLE OF BROAD STREET. There were other black men around and not one of them said anything in my defense! I wanted at least one of them to say something, do something..anything. But alas, I was left out on a limb to dry by myself.

    There are a lot of women who start to smell themselves once they get a little change in their pocket, or a degree or two, and act as if Black men aren’t good enough for them anymore. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that Halle Berry, Garcelle Beauviox and any other successful black women who date white men are sell-outs, or dissing the brothers. WELL HELLO!! Now you know how we feel when we’re with you for 7 years, have your child, suffer with you trying to get your shit together, then you make it to the NFL or NBA or get a record contract and go and fuck with a white girl!!!

    I feel like this comment is sooooooooooooo much longer than it should be, but my main point is that we need to stop all the tearing down of each other. My sista-girls, stop saying “Niggas ain’t shit.” Brothers, stop saying “I don’t love these hoes.” Appreciate each other cus if you haven’t noticed, WE ALL WE GOT!!!

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